If you have a friend that is under the neurodivergent umbrella – experiencing ADHD, autism, Down syndrome, Dyslexia (difficulty with reading), or Dyspraxia (difficulty with coordination) – this is why you should go hug them right now!
Neurodivergent is a non-medical umbrella term that describes people with variation in their mental functions, and can include conditions such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or other neurological or developmental conditions such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). forbes.com
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Why People Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella☔Struggle +How Women Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella ☔ Struggle Differently | |
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While you have been functioning just fine in our current “normal” society, the neurodivergents have been drowning under the umbrella ☔ while simultaneously saving the day like superheroes.
In fact, they are superheroes.
Here is why,
And why neurodivergents deserve more respect, understanding, and first awareness for their special talents that drive our ever-expanding capitalistic world, while they are struggling so much within it!
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Why People Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella ☔ Struggle
Neurodivergence has become a trendy term on social media. With influencers popping up that have gained fame by discussing the real struggles behind their neurodivergence, what exactly it means, and how it affects them.
These bright influences (hehe) shine light✨ on the strengths💪 of those living with neurodivergence; but, for those that are beginning their journey navigating a world 🌎 full of people that think completely different than them, it is more like ‘struggling and surviving’ with neurodivergence instead of living with it.
Whether the neurodivergent individual was diagnosed with a disorder that lies underneath of the neurodivergence umbrella ☔ when they were a child or an adult, whether they work in a pro-neurodivergent job, or have neurodivergent understanding colleagues and bosses… they are still daily navigating an environment that was not made for them.
Neurodivergent individuals meet strangers daily while completing their everyday tasks like shopping for groceries, clothes, or household things. Strangers that have no idea that they are neurodivergent and judge them for their different and peculiar-seeming way of doing things.
Sounds alienating? It is
Neurodivergent individuals operate daily, 24/7 in a system that was built by neurotypical people, for neurotypical people.
What it feels like to be neurodivergent in a world built for the neurotypical.
And the weight of the rock that neurodivergent individuals push in the neurotypical society tends to be heavier for neurodivergent women -- who are gifted an extra special✨ task from above….
They are tasked with not only pushing through the patriarchal societies’ boundaries placed on them, but also their persistent anxiety and/or depression - a common symptom for neurodivergent women especially.
How Women Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella ☔ Struggle Differently
Neurodivergent women have an extra special, sparkly ✨ struggle compared to other neurodivergent people.
Women that are neurodivergent are often diagnosed much later in life compared to to other genders -around the ages of 18 - 30 5.
This delay if often due to ‘’masking”, a term you may have heard through your fav. neurodivergent influencer.
Masking is camouflaging differences to fit into normal society and reduce the risk of social exclusion.
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Neurodivergent women “mask” from a fear of alienation from their neurotypical peers or family members.
This constant identity crisis can lead to anxiety, depression, self-harm, and/or suicidality.
In addition,
“An Increased sensitivity to a wide variety of sensory and emotional stimuli underlies much of the widespread distress and discomfort perceived by neurodivergent women. 2”
The missing diagnosis and support; all while masking, hiding their true selves, lacking in self-confidence and self-esteem, often results in…
Additional anxiety, panic, depression self-harm, and suicidality 2
Alexithymia (“difficulty with understanding and responding appropriately to emotions”)
Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) (“immense emotional pain from real or perceived failure to meet others’ expectations”)
Addiction and criminal activity
Gender incongruence
Personality disorders
Bipolar disease and schizophrenia
All while fighting against the patriarchal system and additional barriers if they are LGBTQ+ or belong to other minorities.
However, Welcome Beyond the Mirror🪞 ,
I offer you a short personal story into a different kind of experience that can occur for a neurodivergent woman.
Narrator, writer, Abigail Balkus
Diagnosed at the age of 23 with ADHD.
Diagnosed with generalized anxiety at the age of 15
Struggled with anorexia, asthma, and anxiety attacks since 12 years old.
I grew up in a sporty family.
From a young age, I tried out every sport in my area. Feeling out what I liked, and ultimately landing on running and gymnastics, on competitive teams inside and outside of school.
At recess and during PE (physical education class), I was the outlier of the girls.
In PE, I was uber-competitive, I wasn’t afraid to get sweaty, and I would often beat the guys on their counts for the physical education tests like the running PACER, the push-ups, or curl ups.
At recess, I rarely hung out with the girls who were chatting or playing fantasy games.
I was the “tom-boy” that joined the boys, to their reluctance, in their kickball and hard-core four-square games.
In the classroom, after wearing myself out playing outdoors in the warm and sunny state of Virginia in the USA, I was a straight-A student.
I never felt like I had to put in loads of effort and study time to succeed; an intellect had naturally blossomed from hiding myself in fantasy books, even during play-dates and family dinners out to eat.
With peers at school, I tried to fit in with the girls but my disruptiveness during conversation, and my colorful and wild energy led me to be bullied and alienated from friend groups.
When I was little, fitting in with the guys was the simple solution until we reached middle-school age and the boys were at a “making fun of everything is fun” age, and I was bullied and made to play “monkey-in-the-middle” with my bookbag and other belongings daily.
In high school when most of my peers grew out of the natural child-like energetic-ness, I continued to be the disruptive, curious abrupt question-asker, overly positive, hyper “freak”.
But, I shined on my gymnastics and running teams. Having a 2-hour running practice, and heading to 4-hour gymnastics practices directly afterwards.
Stuffing my face with “dinner” in between.
Afterschool, my energy would be nice and used up, and I would complete all of my homework with ease.
So, my parents were pretty happy with me.
Yet, they had strict standards, one for athletics, and one for school and life.
So, it still felt like I was constantly failing in their eyes.
I never wanted to get out of bed for school, I was constantly misplacing things, and I could never make the school bus in the morning.
The bus that I was also torturously bullied on by my peers.
Perfectionism and external academic and sport achievements propelled me forward as I struggled to find my own identity and to fit in with my peers.
I was a loner, a nerd, and a tom-boy – but everything looked fine from my resume.
Until… the struggle to find control while constantly feeling out of control and alienated eclipsed in me developing severe anorexia.
Then I couldn’t even participate in the sports that I loved, with the friends that I found in these energetic, competitive-minded groups.
Ultimately, after a very extreme rollercoaster of ups-and-downs in recovery, I was back to “normal”
With general anxiety and constant alienation still knocking at my mental health door.
When it came time to leave high school to pursue a bachelor’s degree, my academic achievements granted me a pick from a wide-variety of university options.
I chose the ones my parents hated, but that I felt at-home at.
At Old Dominion University, a liberal arts school (like most of US universities) the students were not over-achievers but understood a work-life balance.
It was a mixing-pot of socioeconomic backgrounds and academic skills.
Those that just wanted to get their classwork done for the sake of passing the class, not to be the best or aiming for perfection.
I was able to openly choose my class schedule at a time that worked for me with a schedule of each class 3x a week for 50-minutes. Even the class test-taking time wouldn’t go over 50 minutes!
The school had a HUGE gym that most students were very active at.
I would workout for 2 -3 hours a day, basically living at the gym as I came to work there as a general worker, and later a manager.
I also had active side-jobs to pay for university—like waitressing and bartending.
Student life was active, class-load was easy to handle, and freshman’s partied nightly.
Life was active, lively, and flourishing.
In the party and gym scene, my peers appreciated my over-powering positive energy and bubbly personality.
As COVID, entered the picture… anxiety crept back in.
My lack of personal identity and the towering general anxiety grew into social anxiety as we were told in the media to be afraid of others and our differences.
On top of masking, literally wearing masks made matters worse.
I began to become a center of bullying in my previously safe spaces of the gym and parties.
Talk about nowhere to hide.
I found my ground after graduation, but had hopes to leave the US in search of a more sustainable lifestyle… and as you saw… I never really felt like I fit in.
Flash to living in The Netherlands and completing my master’s degree.
Finally… an absolutely all-encompassing sustainable, healthy lifestyle in a walkable, bikeable city – my kind of life.
However, the change in academic norms led everything I was working to build in a new “sustainable-genic” and “healthogenic” environment to fall out from under my feet.
Going to a non-liberal arts, specialization-focused university (which is the norm in Europe) meant 3-hour long classes and loads of self-study of long (and boring) research papers.
To complete master’s-level long projects and thesis assignments, I turned to smoking weed to literally force me to sit down in an almost paralyzed high state.
I began to have a slight idea of my ADHD and weed as a self-medicating method....
Then… I began having such deprecating health problems with chronic sinus infections. It was, very devastatingly clear that an allergy to weed, similar to how pollen affected me in the pollen-rich humid air of Virginia, was causing these infections.
A progressive Dutch doctor that was open to weed and drug-related conversations said that there was nothing that we could do about the weed allergy.
I would just have to stop smoking 😢.
And that we should actually look into the grassroot problem and seek possible ADHD diagnosis and medication.
After a surprisingly super quick diagnosis process of a month or two, I was on a medication journey, allowing me to successfully complete my master’s without everything feeling completely overwhelming and impossible.
And I am now navigating the real adult world on-and-off of ADHD medication.
So.. it is possible for neurodivergent people to live in an environment that they thrive under. However, aspects of alienation are always creeping up behind them towards severe anxiety and depression.
And adult-life, post-grad. will always have new, overwhelming challenges requiring timeliness, organization, long projects, and endless sitting down. 😭
Now, for those that were diagnosed from a young age with a neurodivergent-related disorder….
For those diagnosed young, it is an interesting standpoint to have a general understanding of why you feel so different from your peers from a young age.
And you may be offered support like greater test taking time, or pills to regulate you….
But like I, and many other neurodivergent individuals have realized,
The pills 💊 tend to kill your spark ✨,
A world that used to fill you with wonder, a whimsical eye, loads of ideas, creativity, and color…
Is now black-and-white.
You can fit into the black-and-white now.
But it is a bit like this.
You know that something is up, that something is wrong and different.
That you weren’t built for the world that you live in.
The pills are like an umbrella covering up the huge downpour…
which general society makes you feel is your fault.
Talk about alienating
That it is your fault that by just being your natural self, you would be drowning without the umbrella.
You feel that alien-sense building.
The more that an awareness of neurodivergence is spreading, the more you realize that you are not as alone or alien as you once thought.
We are re-discovering the neurodivergents that have been protecting themselves under the pill💊 umbrellas
or, those that let the umbrella go, found a neurodivergent-friendly job and are now struggling under the generally low-paying aspect of these jobs.
For example, those with ADHD may need active and creative jobs as painters, textile artists, workout instructors, or travelling journalists or influencers.
Autistic individuals can struggle with taking orders and rules 7. They thrive better being self-employed, but the networking aspect of entrepreneurship is a whole ‘nother difficulty.
Then, we have the Karen’s telling us “Get a Real Job!" 🫠
What Medicating for Neurodivergence is like…
Deciding to free-for-all your ADHD...
Okay, okay, let’s not get too wrapped up in negative thinking. A general awareness of the struggles of living as a neurodivergent person in today’s society was all that we were aiming for. Let’s brighten the mood. ☀
Neurodivergents are the changemakers, the wildflowers 🌻, the colorful creatives, the bubbly personalities, and the light to our fire 🔥.
I am seeing them rise-up like phoenixes from being drowned in rain to dancing in firey confidence🔥 and taking off their masks as neurodivergent awareness blooms.
The eruption 🌋 of the positive psychology field urges neurodivergent humans to break out of their shells, un-mask, and lean into their strengths rather than hide their weaknesses through medication and traditional psychology methods.
As society pushes towards extreme change in the midst of collapsing ecosystems, increasing natural disasters, and Zionistic MAGA culture, neurodivergents have become the fuel to the tank of changing society.
Why and How Are Those Under the Neurodivergent Umbrella☔ Becoming Superheroes?
Neurodivergent people have the creative ideas and are change-makers 💡
Neurodivergent people are more likely to “think outside of the box”, come up with creative solutions, and work well under pressure.
“Research shows that there's a correlation between ADHD and entrepreneurship.” 4
“Research shows individuals with autism commonly excel musically.”
“There are higher rates of dyslexia among university art students than the general student population.”
Neurodivergent people are naturally more pro-nature than neural typical thinkers 6 ⛰ 🌊
People under the neurodivergent umbrella find respite from societal judgment in the peace of nature
ADHD people prefer active lifestyles in nature to inside office jobs
Nature is less likely to have overwhelming sensory stimuli such as bright lights and loud, disturbing noises compared to current human societies
Neurodivergent people are used to fighting through adverse circumstances 👊
Case-in-point the entire “Why People Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella ☔ Struggle” section
Neurodivergent minds are the minds of the future (and the past) 🔮
People experiencing autism are incredibly intelligent in specialized areas and drive innovation in the stems fields
People under the neurodivergent umbrella struggle under capitalistic society, not the tribe culture of the past.
People with ADHD carry the traits of the tribe members that would be on night-watch for predators.
Easily distracted
Energetic
Experience moments of hyperfocus under high dopamine
Neurodivergent people have already had to do lots of soul-searching and identity work... leading to loads of self-growth 🌸
Individuals under the neurodivergent umbrella are likely to have sought therapy and self-growth 4 work as a result of extreme feelings of alienation and the mental health issues that resulted
Someone that seamlessly fits into today’s society – a neurotypical person – likely had no reason to seek self-growth, identity work, and/or therapy.
Of course this can vary, especially if traumatic situations occurred – this is only a general theme.
Society seems ready to let us out of our tanks.
The neurodivergent people are preparing like the Marvel Avengers to save human beings’ downfall.
But, be careful what you ask for
Because…
No matter where or how neurodivergents work to shine a light on the water of capitalistic society,
The rain still pours down.
The push against the grain remains.
Neurodivergent people are tired of fighting against the grain and trying to fit in.
And the neurotypical-built system is no longer working.
We have come to see that; there was no box.
We will defy the societal norms box that we have had burned into our minds since we were little.
There are no limitations …
and neurodivergent thinkers are leading the complete paradigm shift that is building.
How is Supporting Neurodivergence Good For Our Wellness?
Neurodivergent people are fighting for a release from the prison of the cubicle office and the doom scrolling, tv-binging normalized life.
Neurodivergent people tend to be the Instagram influencers on your feed as they advise for greater awareness of different lifestyles and work to escape the trapping feeling for them of the 9-5, seeking adventure, activity, and vitality.
Neurodivergent people are carrying the fresh ideas, with a bounce in our step, the hyper-focus and specialization of individuals with autism drives our innovation – while the outspoken, bold nature of ADHDers lead the revolution.
Your friends under the neurodivergent umbrella may be doing so much lightwork right underneath of your nose👃to break us out of the stagnant, sedentary, climate-killing lifestyles that we are living and surviving under -- towards a more enriching, active life 🏃 closer to nature and our natural rhythms. ♮
They might be your best friend, neighbor, colleague, or your favorite bold influencer.
Accept them, let them breathe for once, and please stop throwing water on them 😂
It us weighing us down!
As we (peacefully) fight for a non-commoditized wellness revolution, looking Beyond the Mirror, and placing health and wellness back in the individual’s hands. 👐
We need to safe-keep and support the beautiful, powerful strengths and differences that those under the neurodivergent umbrella ☔ are contributing towards the movement.
Now, go on, give your neurodivergent friend a hug - I bet they need it ♥
Resources
Influencer Mik Zazon
Influencer Rachel Levin
Influencer Heather Rutishauser